Can I catch a break here?

Have you ever had a day where everything went right? Yeh, me either. Have you ever had a day where everything went wrong? Well . . . of course not.  But did you hesitate on your answer to that one? We know that rarely does everything go wrong in a single day, but I have to admit it’s easy to feel that way.  “Please! Can I catch a break here?”

That’s how I felt yesterday. Overwhelmed – and by the afternoon, drowning in doubt, immersed in grief and overcome by just too much. Do you know what it feels like to look inside and see turmoil and look around to see the same thing …. only that shows!  There is no boundary on turmoil.  Have you ever thought about that? Once it starts, the effects can be as devastating, as having a hurricane in my soul.  Is a hurricane easily contained? Does it skip along the edges of city, messing up a yard here, blowing someone’s trash over there, then leaving in a cloud burst of pure sunshine? That’s not what happens; we know better. We’ve seen the devastation of hurricanes.  In Michigan we’ve seen the disasters of too much rain and high winds. Here’s the thing about weather, until the winds calm down and the rain ceases to fall, the damage continues.

That’s how it is with our lives too. The choices we make impact the moment we’re in right then, but strung together they become our future. Today is all we’ve got.  Tomorrow is the result of how we live it.  Choices … decisions … opportunities … What do we do to keep all of it under control and maintain a certain balance between commitment and overload? The answer is never easy. I’m experiencing this process now and I’m sure God is getting pretty tired of my constant babbling – well, ok – constant searching and questioning.  But I know he wants me to seek his voice and ask for wisdom when making decisions.  I’m asking him because I trust him.  In Proverbs 14:6 it says “The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.”  I haven’t got the ‘knowledge comes easily’ nailed down yet, but God made this promise in James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” There is nothing in either verse that assures instant success or that the situations that are overwhelming me today will be gone tomorrow. Every decision I’ve made has a consequence; for good or for bad that’s how it is.

So is there relief? Yes, but it might not be the flavor and color I recognize as relief.  At my darkest point yesterday, a friend stopped by unannounced and I welcomed her into a house that looked like that hurricane turned it upside down and shook it  – hard, then let it settle back again. She was on a mission to pick up a dehumidifier because her house was a victim of these torrential floods. She happens to be the friend who took my domain name and built me a beautiful website. Yesterday she offered support for my drained soul.  I resumed my work when she left and for four more hours I didn’t leave my desk but I felt better. Then another friend sent me a text and said, let’s meet at Yvonne’s Coffeehouse and chat. Was that music I heard?  Was that a few more dark clouds clearing away? Our plan to meet for ‘just a few minutes’ turned into over an hour.  When I got home, I resumed my work – not even tired. I slept then from midnight to 3:30 am and woke up refreshed, renewed, and thankful for the gifts God gives us in friends.

Am I still overwhelmed? Did my commitments dissolve into non-existence? No, but I have the hope of Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  And do you believe God speaks today?  I do – do you know why?  Because yesterday as I was closing out of the many applications I was using, this verse popped up out of nowhere.  I still don’t know which mouse-click did it but filling half of my monitor I read Psalm 29:11 “The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. “  Tell me that wasn’t God.

I leave you with this today Psalm 122:8 For the sake of my family and friends, I will say, “Peace be within you.”

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