Crunch Time: How to Be Your Best When It Matters Most

One of the hooks that attracted me to this book is knowing that one of the authors, Rick, is a coach and the other, Judd, is a vice president at the Ken Blanchard Companies. Expecting to learn something valuable, I wasn’t, for a moment disappointed.  Read the full book summary here

The book is organized for easy learning with quick refer backs to practice the principles for yourself. Each chapter ends with a page highlighting what the authors hope you learned followed by a Try-it section to guide the self-motivated reader to make improvements, beginning now. Peering through the book, I noticed that each chapter title contained the word Reframing. Curiously, I looked for how that term was defined – you know. Just in case my interpretation was far distant from what was intended. I think you’ll like this Reframing approach to getting past hurdles that might be holding you back.    crunchtime

Reframing – The skill of consciously thinking about a situation in a new or different way to change how you interpret the situation, and actions you take, and the results you achieve.
Reframing can be learned by anyone. It’s a cognitive skill you can use to quickly and effectively equip your mind and body to perform well under pressure, anytime, anywhere.

I am a firm believer in how powerful our minds are and how they affect our lives from the smallest moments to the most extensive outcomes. As proven throughout the book, “Thinking differently is the starting point. Change how you act, and change your results.” Put your thoughts into a new frame of reference, new frame of mind, and therein lies the power of Reframing. Each of the chapters tells stories that are totally true, have teachable moments, and are so entertaining you will not be able to choose favorites from those the authors have used to illustrate their points.

Full book summary is published on the BizCatalyst360 network website under BizBooks & Beyond.  Here’s the direct link. https://www.bizcatalyst360.com/crunch-time-how-to-be-your-best-when-it-matters-most/

 

Wake up to the light!

When I woke up this morning it was dark. In fact, as I write this at 9:30 am, it seems like the sun has forgotten how to shine today. I know what many of you are thinking right now. Like “why would the sun shine? This is just a dark day all over – and it started in Washington!” Whoa! I’m not joining any political debate and I’m not taking sides except to say that I am not placing my faith in this administration. I didn’t place my faith in the past administrations either. The political gods of this world are defective humans, they like 100% of the people on planet Earth are flawed, deficient, and no matter how hard they try they will never be perfect. The only faith I have is totally in the true God of the universe who is in complete control and completely capable. (Job 37)

Do you feel like this is a dark day for America? Maybe you think it’s a dark day for the world. The world is a dark place, even on the best of days. What are you going to do about it?

Just for a moment – not even a full minute, ok? Look around you and drink in the things that surround your life. Are you warm? Do you have a home? Is there transportation outside your door? Do you have an income? Are your kids in a good school? Are you safe? Can you receive medical attention when you need it? If you’re watching TV or if you’re reading this, you have electricity and technology that’s convenient and always on, right? Have you a collection of friends available by phone, email, social media, or close enough to visit in person? How about family? You can start the day with lightness of heart if you start with a thankful spirit. Or you can stay in your dark world and wish things were different and worry about things that may never happen. We have this moment; this one moment. Don’t waste it in resentment and rage.

Do you feel like this is a dark day for America? Maybe you think it’s a dark day for the world. The world is a dark place, even on the best of days. There’s a reason for that. The enemy of your soul masquerades as an angel of light, (2 Corinthians 11:14) but there is no light there. It’s all gloom and doom. Your enemy wants you to be sad, depressed, debilitated and ineffective. You know that depression comes from anger turned inward, don’t you? We get fighting mad and war against ourselves (if only … I wish…) until we feel helpless and hopeless. It doesn’t have to be that way. When you get fighting mad, first – Know your enemy. There’s a verse in Ephesians that describes the real enemy, and it is not the president. “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 The enemy of your soul wants you to be miserable.

Now you might make all kinds of assumptions about our politicians and yes, they are living in the dark just like the whole world population. Our political system has always been broken. But we don’t give up, throw a tarp over our heads and let the darkness overtake us. Nothing good ever came from inertia. Inertia is complete resistance to change and obstinacy to movement. In other words – no life, no action, no movement toward something better. Look for the good, the joy, the light.    be-the-lignt

There is one remedy for darkness that pervades the Earth. There is one forever light. Jesus spoke in John 8:12 saying, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” It takes a lot of courage to let go of that which we can’t control. We can’t control the events of today, but we can control our attitudes toward them. We can vow to get involved and effect change (respectfully, honorably, peacefully, knowledgably, wisely) without anger, hate, and hostility. The world is dark, but we can walk in the light. We can follow Jesus who is the light of the world. We can act with love, compassion, and forgiveness while our eyes adjust to the light and we see things in a new way.

There’s enough darkness in the world. Be different. Reflect the light of the world. Be a light where it is dark.

Let’s all be brave – Do not fear

do-not-fear-for-i-am-with-you-isaiah-41-10A friend of mine took one of those Facebook tests to see what scripture verse was suggested for her. Seeing that verse posted on her timeline, I wondered, hmmm…..what would this app choose for me? It chose well because, of my few absolute favorite life verses, this ranks in the top three. Be not dismayed – this world is not my God, nor is it a substitute for God. Nothing can match the power, the love, the joy, the peace, the contentment that only comes from the God who is righteous and holy and keeps the universe from falling apart. Are you curious about God’s power to hold the universe in place? You will love what you read in Isaiah 40. It’s 31 verses and you can read them all in under three minutes.
Do not fear. Do not be dismayed. The world gives us many reasons to fear and even more reasons to be dismayed. Conditions may not change. Circumstances might stay the same. But letting fear and anxiety eat your soul is not helping, in fact it’s hurting you more. What good are those incessant thoughts rooted in fear that become anger that become depression then become life altering? Nothing good comes out of dwelling in the land where fear changes you and makes you weak and unable to fight back.
Do not fear. God is with you.
Do not be dismayed. God made you. He wants you to trust him.
Be strong. God will strengthen you. He will hold you up so you don’t fall away from the person you want to be. Nobody wants to be a fearful, timid, tired out weakling.
Here is a confirmation from Isaiah 40, “The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.”
If you know God, if you trust God, He says in Isaiah 40:31, “those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.” And he says in Isaiah 41:10 “I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Let’s all be brave. Have a fearless, peaceful, contented, joyful day.

46 Years & Worth It

When I was a teenager who knew everything, adults who seemed ancient to me at age 55 or 60 (I know. Crazy, huh?) kept talking about how marriage was. When I knew everything I wondered why these people stayed married then. After all – if it’s so hard, just make it easy and don’t stay married. Go get a life that’s easy. That’s what I thought when I knew everything.       anniversary-post-46th-year-composite

After 46 years of marriage, and well over the age of 60, and now that I don’t know everything, there are a few things I know for sure.

Marriage is hard work. It’s the hardest relationship you will ever have and it’s the most valuable and most rewarding. I can tell you after 46 years there were many exit ramps that looked pretty enticing. They were all lit up and looked like a lot more fun than the ordinary highway I was on with Tim Anderson – the stable, sensible, solid adult. I can’t prove it, but on Tim’s route, he probably saw some amazing exit ramps himself that would have taken him in the opposite direction from me – the one who could never make up her mind, had a new job for every season, and was always, and I do mean always late. “But I use all my minutes,” I complained. “Where is the good in getting any place early?”

If you are married or thinking of getting married, expect hard work. Expect more compromise than you ever imagined. Expect to be more flexible than the most agile yoga instructor. Expect to disagree and expect that sometimes your disagreements will break the sound barrier. Stay – stay the course – because it’s worth it. When I was in my early 20s Ruth Graham, Billy Graham’s wife, was asked if she had ever considered divorce. “No, no I never did,” she said. “Murder a few times, but never divorce.” I know. I laughed too. But they were lovingly married into their 90s. Marriage is hard work.

There is nothing better now than spending an absolutely boring night at home or going out with friends we’ve had for nearly a lifetime. One of us brings up a thought that just moments before the other had in their mind. How does that happen? We share the same faith and love the same God. When our family comes to visit, we get to enjoy time together as one collective family. We wanted this for our family from the moment we said, I do. I know this luxury is one that many of my friends don’t have. Life is never perfect. We have been through deep sadness, near death illnesses, and financial hardship. We got through them, not because of who we are, but because God planted love in our hearts and we worked hard, still work hard, to cultivate forgiveness, acceptance, empathy, and understanding. The joy outweighs everything else and it’s cumulative.

I love you, Tim. Thank you for loving me and sharing this adventure called marriage with me for 46 years (and counting). The 46 gorgeous flowers are truly touching, but even if I had none of them and all of you, it would be worth it.

Joy: Buried Treasure

It was the night of bright lights and bling. New Years Eve – everywhere we looked there was glitter and sparkle and shine. Every particle of air held excitement and ice melted from sheer energy. There were smiles and hugs and the air was electric with celebration! No matter if 2016 was a good year to hang onto with tenacious enthusiasm or one that we couldn’t wait to vanish into history, the beginning of a new year sparks hope. Parties and celebrations ignite happiness and flame the atmosphere with joy.  

I wonder though, what happens now when the lights have gone out, the fireworks are over, the confetti has fallen to the ground in dusty clumps and the glitter is washed down the drain. Is that the end of happiness? Is that it for joy? It is, if joy is dependent on our circumstances.

I’ve been thinking.  Special events bring excitement into our lives; they’re blessings and we treasure those moments when our hearts feel happy. But the moments don’t last and as they fade, so does the feeling we confuse with joy. Joy is heaven-made. It’s part of our spiritual DNA. “The humble will be filled with fresh JOY from the Lord. Isaiah 29:19 [NLT] Doesn’t that sound like our joy comes from God and not from ourselves or any other source?

Happiness is homemade. It’s part of our human experience. Many years ago I read one of those sayings on the side of a coffee mug that said, “If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” That’s a pretty good description of life, isn’t it? We’re on our journey for a while taking the scenic tour, a few curves a few hills – we’re comfortable, we’re happy. But then life gets really tough and the pleasant journey becomes a dangerous expedition. Thrown off our path we’re driven into the deep end of the ocean or feel like we’re hanging by our fingernails on the side of a cliff. Not our happiest moments, are they? There is no bling, there is no glitter, the light is gone. The last thing we feel capable of is being happy.

How often do we say it? “But Lord, I’m not happy. I’m tired of trying so hard to get through this. And Lord, in case you haven’t noticed, this ‘thing’ is getting me down. Somedays I feel so sad I don’t want to move.” Do you remember Psalm 23:1? The Lord is my shepherd … This isn’t a verse tucked into the Bible so we could envision a calm, serene flowing brook surrounded by wild flowers. Shepherds worked hard, trudged through brambles and mud to keep track of their sheep. And they protected every single sheep from any harm that threatened them. “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” Do you trust your shepherd? you-make-known-to-me-the-path-of-life

Jesus reminds us that nothing can take our joy away from us because he is the source of our joy. Nehemiah 8:10 says “Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Our circumstances may make us sad, they may exhaust us, we might feel like we’ve been plunged into darkness but it’s in our darkest days that the tiniest light appears brightest. The light of the world is Jesus (John 8:12); it’s he who is the source of our joy. Psalm 16:11 says, “You make known to me the path of life; as I walk with You the pleasures are never-ending and I know true JOY and contentment.”

We have to look for joy, like excavating for buried treasure because that’s what it is. Joy is a gift we choose to open over and over.  Joy is our light even when the bling of the world is gone. Look for the joy because it won’t come find us.

To choose joy means we choose God, we choose to fill our minds and fill our hearts with his words. Matthew 12:34 describes it so clearly. “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Joy might not be a natural response to a broken spirit when days seem dark, but if you are God’s child, you already have unlimited, renewable joy. Nahum 1:7-8 tell us that God comforts his troubled children who put their trust in him. “The Lord is good. He protects those who trust him in times of trouble. But like a roaring flood the Lord chases his enemies into dark places and destroys them.” That’s God. He protects, and destroys the enemy that tries to steal your joy.

Lord, your word says you’ve given me an unlimited supply of renewable joy, but I’m having a hard time finding it. Please be a light on my pathway to peace and joy. Flood my heart with so much joy here is no room for darkness. God, I ask you to change my circumstances, Lord. But if you choose to grow my character through them, then please change me. Change my attitude, change my heart, change my life. Make me a faithful steward of your gift of joy. Amen

Intentions, not Resolutions

​Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Whenever you read this, it’s good. You’re covered. 

I’ve been thinking. In a few hours we will be writing 2017 instead of 2016 for our dates. What else will we be doing instead? 

I stopped making new year resolutions when I figured out how self-defeating they were and how self-deprecating I became. Instead of resolutions I started making a list of ideas, of things I could try to do or learn. No due date. No expiration date. Writing out my ideas helps me remember my intentions to do good. If that sounds strange, let me ask you. When was the last time you wrote your intentions to do bad? Yeh, that’s what I thought. 

Today, take a few minutes to think back over the last year. Reflect, don’t return. Forgive yourself for every mistake that comes to your mind. Forgive every offense whether yours or another person’s – even if they haven’t asked and even if you don’t want to. Verbally, right out loud. “Grrrr. I am still angry, I’m hurt, but I forgive and am moving on.” Now move on. Forgetting those things which are behind….press on.

Write yourself a note to inspire you to begin this new year with good intentions.  Who will you contact? What books will you read? What might you want to learn? How do you envision each day? I would rather live inspired by what gets me up in the morning than dread what keeps me up at night. You too?

Today, on this threshold of a new year, remember that yesterday is past tense and it’s over. It’s a reflection in your rear view mirror. It’s impossible to move forward if you can’t step away from what is now history. Don’t let setbacks become staybacks. New Year, 2017. No resolutions. Only intentions to look for the slivers of joy in life. Encourage others and you will be encouraged. Decide now to live life in forward motion, not stuck back there.

Anyway, that’s what I was thinking. 

Forget what is behind. Press on toward the prize. Welcome New Year!

Finding Comfort in Our Loss

Comfort, comfort my people … a few weeks ago one of my sisters-in-law suffered a debilitating stroke, our music minister from church passed away after a very long, excruciating battle with cancer, two of my friends from church lost their husbands to cancer. During the past year, five of my friends lost husbands, suddenly, without warning. I came to wonder how many times that sick feeling of loss would be multiplied and what could I do to comfort people I care about when the only thing that seemed possible was to pray.

Loss is real. Fear is constant for so many. This Christmas season magnifies the emptiness that has become the new normal for people who are going on without their soulmate. From my recent prayer journal pages – Please pray: My mom has dementia and I don’t know how much longer I can care for her. My son’s wife wants a divorce. My husband said Merry Christmas, he’s leaving me and our kids. I suffer from Lyme disease and am unbearably fatigued much of the time. My daughter needs an operation and has no health insurance. My spouse has just been admitted to hospice care. I have debilitating migraines and can’t get out of bed. My work schedule is ruining my chance for family vacation again. My son is making extremely poor choices and there is no dealing with him.

Isaiah 40:1 “Comfort, comfort my people,” says your God.” Do you open an email, read a text, or see a post on Facebook and your heart is broken because your friend is riding out a storm and you can do nothing but pray? I often wonder if David was called a man after God’s own heart because he prayed often and recorded his prayers in the Psalms. Psalm 102:1 is just one where David’s endurance has dissolved “Hear my prayer, Lord; let my cry for help come to you.”

Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever reach the end of your strength and say, “Lord, do you even see me here? Do you care that I’m exhausted from just too much? This is just too much.” God used David’s poems, songs, and reflections to comfort, comfort His people. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Sometimes I do things backward. God should be my first choice, not my last resort. When I woke up this morning I heard the song in my mind “All is well. All is well.”  god-should-be-our-first-response That is such a comforting, heartwarming thought. Psalm 143:8 “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”

In chapter six of Matthew, there are descriptions of how to pray and even some guidelines for the attitude that’s pleasing to God. In Matthew 6:6 we read one option “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Does this mean before we can pray we have to find an empty room? Thankfully not! We are invited to pray anytime, anyplace, for any reason. We pray for shattered hearts to be healed Psalm 147:3 “He heals those who have a broken heart. He heals their sorrows.”

every-morning-psalm-143We pray for direction when lives have been turned upside down by turmoil; we ask for acceptance when we have to bear the consequences of decisions made outside our control. Our faith takes a beating, doesn’t it? In these times, acknowledge what God tells us in Isaiah 48:17 “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”

When every ounce of energy we have left wants to shout, “Really God? Is this really the plan you have for me? How am I supposed to get through this one?” Let’s scan a few statements here in Jeremiah 10 … “No one is like you, Lord; you are great, and your name is mighty in power… God made the earth by his power; he founded the world by his wisdom and stretched out the heavens by his understanding.” This verse is key for today just as is was back then. Jeremiah 10:23 “Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.”

We have to go forward, move past the calamity, rise above the chaos, and clear out a lot of torn feelings all cluttering the path to joy. Remember happiness is circumstantial and sometimes our circumstances have no characteristics close to happiness. Joy comes from believing that God’s plan is for our ultimate good. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Before that next cup of coffee, before returning to the TV, before making that phone call, remember Psalm 6:9 “The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.”

Comfort, comfort my People says your God. All is well. All is well.